Joke of the day
Maybe sometimes we are all too serious!
You might be a redneck if:
You have to roll up your sleeve and look at your arm to spell your wifes name!
Your wifes uniform has no top!
You paint your porsche in camouflage!
You delayed your wedding because of hunting season!
The sweetest music you ever heard was the sound of a pack of dogs running through the swamp at midnight!
Your doorbell is a dog!
You think "Dinner reservations" means they have seen your wife cooking!
You invite your friends round to see your new ceiling fan!
The uninvited guests at your wedding are the SWAT team!
You regularly check the brake lights on your house!
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A Nun at Hooters
A nun, badly needing to use the restroom, walked into a local
Hooters restaurant in Kissimmee.
The place was hopping with music and loud conversation and every
once in a while the lights would turn off. Each time the lights would go
out, the place would erupt into cheers.
However, when the revellers saw the nun, the room went dead silent.
She walked up to bartender, and asked, "May I please use the
restroom?"
The bartender replied, "OK, but I should warn you that there is a
statue of a naked man in there wearing only a fig leaf."
"Well, in that case I'll just look the other way," said the nun.
So, the bartender showed the nun to the back of the restaurant,
and she proceeded to the restroom. After a few minutes, she came back out,
and the whole place stopped just long enough to give the nun a loud round
of applause.
She went to the bartender and said, "Sir, I don't understand..."Why
did they applaud for me just because I went to the restroom?"
"Well, now they know you're one of us," said the bartender "Would
you like a drink?"
But, I still don't understand," said the puzzled nun.
"You see," laughed the bartender, "every time the leaf on the
statue is lifted up, the lights go out. Now, how about that drink?
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Away in the tropical waters of the Caribbean , two prawns were swimming around in the sea, one called Justin and the other called Christian.
The prawns were constantly being harassed and threatened by sharks that inhabited the area. Finally one day Justin said to Christian, "I'm fed up with being a prawn; I wish I was a shark, and then I wouldn't have any worries about being eaten."
A large mysterious cod appeared and said, "Your wish is granted" Lo and behold, Justin turned into a shark. Horrified, Christian immediately swam away, afraid of being eaten by his old mate.
Time passed (as it invariably does) and Justin found life as a shark boring and lonely. All his old mates simply swam away whenever he came close to them. Justin didn't realize that his new menacing appearance was the cause of his sad plight.
While swimming alone one day he saw the mysterious cod again and he thought perhaps the mysterious fish could change him back into a prawn. He approached the cod and begged to be changed back, and, lo and behold, he found himself turned back into a prawn.
With tears of joy in his tiny little eyes Justin swam back to his friends and bought them all a cocktail.
Looking around the gathering at the reef he realized he couldn't see his old pal. "Where's Christian?" he asked. "He's at home, still distraught that his best friend changed sides to the enemy & became a shark", was the reply.
Eager to put things right again and end the mutual pain and torture, he set off to Christian's abode.
As he opened the coral gate, memories came flooding back. He banged on the door and shouted, "It's me, Justin, your old friend, come out and see me again."
Christian replied, "No way man, you'll eat me. You're now a shark, the enemy, and I'll not be tricked into being your dinner." Justin cried back "No, I'm not. That was the old me. I've changed.".........
"I've found Cod. I'm a Prawn again Christian".
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